Leo Season Vol. LIII

On the Mad Rants of Birthdays

Photo by Lisha Riabinina

Many mad ranters pontificate deeply each year around their birthdays. The formula is well-established:

Describe the anniversary of your own birth in some pithy way—a trip around the sun, a spin around the rock, adding another candle to the cake, turning the page, getting older and bolder, and the modernist take: this is (fill in your newest decade of survival here). *Note—the latter only works well for the “so-called” big birthdays, typically those that end in zero or five.

Reflect on what you’ve learned over the previous year and offer it as advice. Urge others to Live, Laugh, and Love, never forgetting the importance of enjoying life, sharing laughter with friends, and loving those around you; remember to be yourself because authenticity is key. Embrace who you are. Let your true colors shine. Always remember to stay positive because a positive mindset can turn around any situation. Follow your dreams and smile often.

Lastly, express gratitude for those things that are universally considered important. Try something like being grateful for good friends and family first.

In anticipation of my fifty-third birthday, let me give it a try:

It is difficult to come up with a new birthday expression worthy of a greeting card. So far, I’ve come up with “Here’s to surviving 12 more months, even though I’ve done little to contribute to that outcome.” I filled out forms in my doctor's office recently about alcohol consumption and was surprised that the question was about weekly intake, not daily. There is a shopping center near my home, within walking distance. I drive there regularly. I recently had to shop at two stores in the center and moved my car between stops. I live in Southern California, the home of the body as temple. That seems far too aspirational. I’m more of a tent guy.

I have tried and created many different diets during my half-plus century of life. One summer, I lived on a pasta and pinot grigio diet, which helped me gain weight. I was trying to lose weight, but no matter; it was a really great summer. Around that time, I had planned to write a diet book that contained a single page that read “Stop eating so much.” Publishers passed. This Fall, I am self-publishing a book of life advice suitable for gift-giving, particularly for birthdays. The title is “Nobody Knows Anything”. There are no pages. The time feels ripe for speaking truth to power, mashed up with minimalism.

The platitudes above are all well intended. You should probably live, laugh, and love. Hell, you could even put a sign up in your kitchen to remind yourself. But if you do them all at once, it’s likely you’ll be arrested. I’m not really sure if you should be yourself because maybe you’re not so great. Maybe you’re still evolving. Perhaps being somebody else is best for some of us. All of us could certainly stand to be better. And haven’t we had enough of dream following? Following your dreams can lead to bad decisions. But “go to work” is not a great window sticker.

Despite my cynicism, I am truly grateful for good friends and family. I am also grateful for perfect margaritas. There is some debate on where more of my energy goes. Maintaining our relationships requires patience and kindness, qualities that are not exactly “on-brand” for me. Family should always come first. We should all be patient and kind. But we fail. We fall down, skin our knees, and then pray that we get to do it again. If we walk to the market, we’ll get to do it a little longer.

I started thinking about this Leo Season over a margarita shared with really good friends. There was a bundt cake and an amazingly thoughtful gift. We were near the Pacific Ocean. The whole of Santa Monica Bay was visible - from RAT Beach to Pt. Dume in Malibu. People were fishing off the beach. I could taste the salt in the air. A great runoff of Palos Verdes groundwater formed a waterfall that rushed in the background. The moon reflected off of a very calm ocean, and a raft of kelp waved back at us, keeping time with the tide. There was great laughter and, most certainly, love. We were all living. No one was arrested. And I was grateful for all of it.

Cheers.

xAP